From Russia, with Kenya

The ending credits to the movie scrolls upwards on the projected screen, signaling the end of yet another of my Film Studies lectures. I can think of worse ways to spend a Friday morning.

The movie for the day was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. For a sorta indie film, it has stocks of high hitting casts such as Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Kirsten Dunst and Elijah Wood. Dunst looks so ultra cute especially when she gets high on pot and Elijah Woods… is much taller than I am used to. Oh yeah, he is also the movie’s minor protagonist with a fetish for women’s underwear.

Carrey takes on a much more introvert role (and quite a fuzzy one too) although there were times where he did his usual Carry-ness antic. Actually, the whole movie is sort of a reminiscence of a more psychedelic Truman Show.

Anyway, there was this Caucasian girl sitting sideways towards me and right after the lights went on, she made a complementary remark about my supposedly lucky (and supposedly 100 % shark tooth) necklace. I mumbled a thanks and casually asked her where she hailed from. Russia was her response.

At that point, all I could think off for a charming response to a Russian student (and a rather cute one at that!) was vodka jokes and really bad Commander Chekov impersonations.


"Where are ze nukeluar wessels?"


In Russia, everything can be solved with enough vodka!

It kind of reminds me of a time when I met an African student during one of my CG gatherings. We struck up a conversation and I asked where she was from. She said Kenya and, with a raised eyebrow, asked me if I knew where exactly Kenya was.

I answered enthusiastically of course.

“Africa!”

And then she asked: “Which part?”

… …. ...

“I dunno.”

And she did the ‘huh!’ sound one makes when hearing an expected answer. At first, I was kinda put off. I mean give me a break already! How was I supposed to know there was going to be a geographical pop quiz at a church function? Did ya want the exact longitude and latitude of Kenya too?

Then comes to the day where I met the cute Russian. I could not think of anything intelligent to state or say about Russia either. All I know from the thousands of movies and computer games that I have consumed in the past is that everything sounds cooler when you say it in a Russian accent.

Now, if I've thought of it in this way in relation to the Kenya student’s question: What if an American came to me and asked me where I was from. I say Malaysia and then he goes “Ohhhh… yeah, yeah, I’ve heard of that country before, dude! It’s in Asia, no?”

No shit in Asia.

No shit in Africa too, in my case.

I guess ignorance isn’t just epidemic to Westerners after all.

So I did what I do best. I Wiki-ed Kenya and Russia!
Oh, and vodka too!

“Don’t worry, man. I’ve got your back.”
”It isn’t my back I’m worried about…”