Fitting in

All my life I’ve never really liked church people all that much. Well, me best mates don’t count. I used to find Cell Group (CG) a total waste of my time. Every time I give it a try, I always go home with the feeling of stupidity, incompetents and self-consciousness. I can never show my real side there for some reason. It’s like a huge heavy weight on my chest, like the need to get out of there as quickly as possible. Basically, I just sit there and sulk and make a sarcastic comment or two.

Honestly speaking, I can’t stomach churchy people. I see the youth there struggling with the same problems as any other ‘non-Christian’ youth will encounter. Just replace “pop star” with “super holy pastor”. They stumble to peer-pressures just like any other youths. Just replace “getting as much girlfriends as possible” to “hey, lets see who can keep their commitment to remain single for God the longest and the winner is the holy-est among them all!”. So what’s the difference between the church environment and the “world”? Plus, I don’t like the way the church segregates “non-Christians” like they are some ignorant sub-race of men that doesn’t know the truth like we do. Heh heh… I think the reason that I feel that way is because I feel like a designated Christian who probably isn’t really a Christian inside. (I used to say that my mother isn’t a Christian so I find those statement offensive but I can’t do that now as she suddenly lost her non-believer sarcasms status and became a Christian, with sarcasm! Haha).

Ever since I can remember anything, I’ve always had the feeling that I’ve fell through the crack of society. In high school, the “happening” kids used to think of me as a loser, geek and/or nerd (take your pick) while the losers, geeks and nerds in my school think that I was some cool person. Both sides resented me. Same thing in terms of religion I suppose. The Christians would think of me as a backslidden “creature of the world” while the outside world thinks that I’m your archetypical naïve church youth who never has fun, a stiff, prays all the time and goody goody two shoes.

However, after the Dec05 incident, I was left dejected. For the first time in my life, I’ve actually felt real emotional pain as the fakeness of the church suddenly transpired to the outside world which I thought was (even though evil, lustful etc etc) at least honest. You know, keeping it real. After reanalyzing what was my weakness during the Dec 05 incident, I’ve decided to just give things a try even though I’m not ready yet. Hence, tAking a ChAnCe.

2006 New Year’s Resolution number 2:
The world does not give you the time and day to get your shit in order. When opportunity comes knocking on your door, don’t worry about cleaning up the house before opening because frankly, it will never be neat enough.

After taking much thought of my current perception of life, the universe and everything else (cue in So Long and Thanks For All the Fish, David!), I’m suddenly reminded of a sticker outside my friend’s bathroom door.

“Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven”

2006 New Year’s Resolution number 4:
We are all brought up in different ways and we all view things in different “lenses”. Sometimes, it is not whether they or you are right or wrong. All views/opinions/judgments are correct in the eyes of the beholder. The only thing that you can do is to respect the other’s point of view, whether you like it or not.

2006 New Year’s Resolution number 5:
Never judge anyone lesser than you, as you would not want people to judge you the same way.

So with much humility, I’m beginning to reassess my views about the Christians youths.

Part 2

So anyway, I’m back from a friend’s birthday party at The Curve’s TGIF. Nice place, good people. Where was I? Oh yeah…

Sometime last year, we did a major renovation to the house. It be pimped, yo! Now, there is a proper wall in between the two front bedrooms. Since my grandma moved to the condo across my house (Casa Damansara), the back bedroom is now under my control. So, for the first time in my life, I finally go a place on my own! However, I’m rather unclear of the bedroom concept. Many of my friend’s bedroom expresses their identity all over the place. Posters, nick-nacks, toys, decorations, you name it. Well, to me, a bedroom is where I put my loot, sleep, change and then get out. Period. You don’t really accumulate loads of loot when the only thing you’ve ever own for the better part of your life is a bed, one clothing rack and a study table. So, as you can probably guess, my new bedroom is kinda bland and empty at the moment. So empty that the family decided to store all the boxes of winter clothing and old curtains in my room. Sigh, so now I’m living in the embroidery storage room. Well, at least I got my privacy…and a lot of ‘foot stools’. That is if my parents learn how to knock before barging into my room. My dad actually goes to my room on occasion and reads through my stuff when I’m out. An example would be my 2006 New Year’s Resolution. He reads it and then added about four lines of his own ideas on how to improve myself this year. Creepy…

Let the games begin!

Well chumps, looks like it’s time to get the show on the road… finally. Sorry to have kept my captivated audiences waiting but I had an emergency visit from me old pal, Comrade Procrastinator! He kept me busy doing his evil biddings such as oversleeping, webcomics and of course, his most diabolically weapon of all, the Wikipedia! Such p0w4h…

Well, enough about that. Let us get to the main agenda then… Me! My full name is Vincent Tan Koon Hua although Vincent isn’t in my IC. Me dad’s idea. He wasn’t really too fond of his first name (My grand daddy was really into Disney/American cartoons back then and me dad was named Tommy, after Tom & Jerry) so he vowed never to do that to his children. Ironically, I really do like the name Vincent. Koon Hua in Chinese literally means ‘crown people’, or Chinese leader/hero. Most just call me ‘sleeping flower’. That’s one problem with the Chinese language. It always sounds insulting when you use another dialect. Of course, the biggest irony here is that I can’t speak Chinese to save my life. The only phrase that I can say in Chinese without cracking people up into a laughing fit is “Dui bu chi, woa bu yao chiang hau yee”.


Currently at press time, I am a 20-year-old male specimen hailing from the tropical peninsular end of Malaysia. We only have two weathers here, summer or flood. I’m currently residing in a town called Pee Jay, roughly the central suburban hub of the Selangor state. My house is right smack next to the Lebuhraya Damansara Puchong (LDP), one of the main traffic arteries around. So basically, I can’t really get lost on the road. It just all depends on how many toll gates I’ll have to go through to get home in the end.

As the only boy with an age gap between two sisters, I suffer from a slight dose of middle child syndrome. Let me elaborate. For the past twenty years of my existents, I’ve never had a room of my own. Originally, the house had four bedrooms, two in the front and two at the back. The right front bedroom was supposedly the master bedroom with a toilet. In between the back two bedrooms was another toilet. During my parents… shall we say more youthful times, they wanted a big-ass-like-studio master bedroom so they had the walls separating the two front rooms removed. Unfortunately (well, fortunately for me), my parents did what nature intended and I was one of the results. When I was a kid, I used to bunk in with my older sister in one of the back rooms (my grandma had the other back room) and she didn’t like that very much. Teenagers and their privacy, bah! So when I was about starting high school, my parents did some minor renovations to the rooms. They installed a water heater in the master bedroom’s bathroom and erected a wooden wall between the two front bedrooms. And I got the right side bedroom! The one with the water heated bathroom! However, there was a catch. In hindsight (or in some twisted way of keeping their eyes on a hormonal teenage boy), my parents did not place a door for the left side bedroom (currently the designated master bedroom where my parents sleep) but only a door into my room! They had to get into my room to get into theirs! Plus, being the only bathroom with water heater in the house, the entire family decided to just change in my room after a shower and to make things more convenient, why not put all our clothing in Vincent’s bedroom? Sigh… So in a nutshell, I was practically living in the family’s public walk-in closet/changing room during my entire high school and college days. DUM DUM DUM!

*TO BE continued*

How do I personalize?

Hmmm… How the heck do I personalize my blog? The things I really want to do are:
1. A sidebar with the Top Ten songs I like to hear at the moment.
2. I dunno.. I’ll think of something….
I don’t think I can seriously start the blog if the site isn’t to my liking. Something akin to an artist who doesn’t start painting unless he likes the blankness of his white canvas.

Well i finally did it

Test test test... Is this thing on?
Welcome one and all. Just starting out a blog about me me and me.
Going to start small now.
Later, I'm going to whoop Jeff Ooi's butt.
Nahahahahahah!