Let the games begin!

Well chumps, looks like it’s time to get the show on the road… finally. Sorry to have kept my captivated audiences waiting but I had an emergency visit from me old pal, Comrade Procrastinator! He kept me busy doing his evil biddings such as oversleeping, webcomics and of course, his most diabolically weapon of all, the Wikipedia! Such p0w4h…

Well, enough about that. Let us get to the main agenda then… Me! My full name is Vincent Tan Koon Hua although Vincent isn’t in my IC. Me dad’s idea. He wasn’t really too fond of his first name (My grand daddy was really into Disney/American cartoons back then and me dad was named Tommy, after Tom & Jerry) so he vowed never to do that to his children. Ironically, I really do like the name Vincent. Koon Hua in Chinese literally means ‘crown people’, or Chinese leader/hero. Most just call me ‘sleeping flower’. That’s one problem with the Chinese language. It always sounds insulting when you use another dialect. Of course, the biggest irony here is that I can’t speak Chinese to save my life. The only phrase that I can say in Chinese without cracking people up into a laughing fit is “Dui bu chi, woa bu yao chiang hau yee”.


Currently at press time, I am a 20-year-old male specimen hailing from the tropical peninsular end of Malaysia. We only have two weathers here, summer or flood. I’m currently residing in a town called Pee Jay, roughly the central suburban hub of the Selangor state. My house is right smack next to the Lebuhraya Damansara Puchong (LDP), one of the main traffic arteries around. So basically, I can’t really get lost on the road. It just all depends on how many toll gates I’ll have to go through to get home in the end.

As the only boy with an age gap between two sisters, I suffer from a slight dose of middle child syndrome. Let me elaborate. For the past twenty years of my existents, I’ve never had a room of my own. Originally, the house had four bedrooms, two in the front and two at the back. The right front bedroom was supposedly the master bedroom with a toilet. In between the back two bedrooms was another toilet. During my parents… shall we say more youthful times, they wanted a big-ass-like-studio master bedroom so they had the walls separating the two front rooms removed. Unfortunately (well, fortunately for me), my parents did what nature intended and I was one of the results. When I was a kid, I used to bunk in with my older sister in one of the back rooms (my grandma had the other back room) and she didn’t like that very much. Teenagers and their privacy, bah! So when I was about starting high school, my parents did some minor renovations to the rooms. They installed a water heater in the master bedroom’s bathroom and erected a wooden wall between the two front bedrooms. And I got the right side bedroom! The one with the water heated bathroom! However, there was a catch. In hindsight (or in some twisted way of keeping their eyes on a hormonal teenage boy), my parents did not place a door for the left side bedroom (currently the designated master bedroom where my parents sleep) but only a door into my room! They had to get into my room to get into theirs! Plus, being the only bathroom with water heater in the house, the entire family decided to just change in my room after a shower and to make things more convenient, why not put all our clothing in Vincent’s bedroom? Sigh… So in a nutshell, I was practically living in the family’s public walk-in closet/changing room during my entire high school and college days. DUM DUM DUM!

*TO BE continued*