Fitting in part 2

And for some reason, I was wrong about them too. Which is kind of… odd. I always pride myself as someone who seeks the real side of things. Always bothering to hear the other side of the story, finding out what makes a person tick. Being impartial until I get all the facts straight. Wanting to understand the other as much as my side of the view. I guess this is due to the fact that many didn’t take the time to better understand and know who I am before passing their almighty judgment on me when I was growing up. So I subconsciously vowed never to do that.

Ironically, like many things my life (which are one too many already I might add), we often become the one thing we so despise.

Shortly after the Dec05 incident, I’ve made a conscious decision to give cell group another go. So I decided maybe a new group alone without any of my usual buddies. That would force me to mix around. It was really hard for the first couple of weeks. The same pressures I’ve felt the last time I was there resurfaced all over again. Frankly, it was quite disappointing. I had thought that my stitch with The Star and the new post-Dec05 attitude would’ve make things easier but it seams I’ve gotten nowhere in terms of my ability to relate to the cell.

But for some reason, I still kept on coming back. In fact, I was accidentally recruited into Flare, the campus youth zone’s in-house band. So now, I’m going for church activities 3 times a week minimum! That is regarded as crazy for someone like me.

However, fate/God/whatever probably had me come in when many of the cell members were going through some tough times. In fact, my Dec05 incident seams kinda petty even. Well, the one thing I’ve learned is that sharing about personal stuff (no matter how trivial it sounds to outsiders) sorts of bonds you with your cellmates, regardless of whether you want to or not. There seams to be a connection established even though I did not want it to happen. Although I’ll like to make a note that I dread having the “So how is your walk with God nowadays?” kinda questions but when I answered honestly, even though my stand was totally different from everybody, it brought me closer to them.

Well, if not currently going to cell/Flare for the glory of God, I am certainly going for the people there.

And today, I think one of them really needs us right now. I do not know what to say or do, but I think the least I can do is to be there for her.